The foundation of CBT is to first be aware of what we’re feeling.
But when I ask them to probe deeper, they’re surprised to find a lot. Mini exercise: It’s hard to think about shortcomings when we’re standing eye to eye with someone who intimidates us.Now that we’re aware of this feeling and accept it, we’re ready for the next step.You don’t want to walk around in life looking for people’s shortcomings.But when it comes to those who intimidate you, you need a powerful method to take them down from the mental pedestal you’ve put them on.One powerful way to do that is to think about what insecurities they might have.In other words, there’s no reason for her to be intimidating.
She doesn’t use it as a tool to suppress others (even though that’s how others often take it).
It’s important to know about this because a) it helps us understand that it’s not about us, it’s about them.
This insight helps us to not take their intimidation personally and b) it helps us understand that their “perfect surface” more often than not is a protection for their low self-esteem. It can be stressful to be around intimidating people and feel that being inferior will make them dislike us.
– Alexis I got lots of questions about that from both men and women.
Some examples that came up was talking to your boss or manager, talk to tall people, good looking people, mean/unpleasant people, and those you’re attracted to.
After all, you can’t remove feelings and most people get intimidated every once in awhile, so why not be okay with it?